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As I have
mentioned previously the English speaking ex-pat women in Algiers hold a
monthly meeting on the first Saturday of every month. I am reminded of an article I read some time
ago that implied how inaccurately and discriminatory the word ‘ex-pat’, short
for ‘Expatriate’ is used. It refers to
someone who lives outside their homeland, so that can mean anyone from anywhere
living in a country that is foreign to them. Therefore it’s perfectly fine to
say that those of us who are not Algerian and who live here are ex-pats. But….how come then……in UK and Ireland we
refer to some people from other countries (usually poorer than our own) as
immigrants and not ex-pats. Even in my own
mind the word ‘ex-pats’ denoted to me, well off Europeans or Americans who go
and live in another country, and not those people who come to Ireland and UK
for a better standard of living, and yet we are all expatriates. So I have had to readjust my way of thinking
on the whole subject of expatriates.
Whew! Not a bit like me to go off
on a tangent is it????
ANYWAY……as
I was saying before I rudely interrupted myself, the monthly meetings have been
going strong for over 11 years now Alhamdullilah I, myself, have only ever hosted one, 10
years ago (took me that long to get over it!!!), and it attracted quite a crowd
despite the wailing and gnashing of teeth over the fact that we lived so far
from everyone. That meeting had men and
women and children, because quite a few of the husbands who drove their wives
to the house just hung around and my husband invited them in (despite his dire
warnings to me that he was not available that day) and he and the other
husbands had such a whale of a time they thought maybe they should set up their
own meetings! The following day
neighbours came up to both him and my eldest daughter and congratulated her on
her engagement. After all….there
couldn’t possibly be any other reason for a large group of women to congregate
on an afternoon over coffee and cakes.
I had
thought of holding it several times since then, when it seemed as if nobody
else was able to host it, but always at the last minute someone would step up
to the plate and I could breathe a huge sigh of relief. But this time it didn’t look as if anyone was
going to volunteer so I went ahead and, in a moment of temporary insanity, I
invited everyone to my house. It being
January with the days so short, and knowing it was quite a distance for most
people to travel, I wasn’t expecting much of a turnout – actually I had visions
of it being just me and my two daughters sitting staring at each other and
twiddling our thumbs. However my friends
who live in this area all rallied around and said they were coming anyway. But then the number of women on the Facebook
group interested in coming, started to grow at the same rate as my blood
pressure, and then I started panicking about where I was going to put
everyone.
There is
nothing like hosting an event in your home to get all those long overdue jobs
and tasks done – I highly recommend it!
I had 6 days in which to prepare, so I sat with my list and organised
and prioritised and worked my butt off and nagged my head off, so that when the
day came I was so looking forward to seeing everyone. I prayed to Allah that He would bless the
meeting and the sisters with a safe journey…..next time I will be more specific
in my dua and ask Him to bless them with a short journey also!
It does
make things so much easier when you don’t have to provide the food (although of
course I did bake for the event), only the hot and cold drinks. I have hosted events in our home for
Algerians and I found them far more stressful due to the fact that I always
feel a little out of my depth and am never sure of all the etiquettes, the
unspoken do’s and don’ts. But when it
comes to a monthly meeting anything goes as nobody cares very much about what’s
served with what and in what cup or plate, as the women’s first priority is to
meet up with each other and catch up, get new ideas and maybe get some things
off their chest and, in the process, perhaps find ways and means of coping with
the problems of living here in Algeria.
I moved the
kitchen chairs into the living room, pushed the kitchen table into a corner,
brought some extra chairs into the courtyard to make an outdoor extra seating
space (Alhamdulliah the day was dry and not too cold), and prepared flasks of
hot water, milk and coffee. My friends who lived locally also were very
supportive providing me with extra mugs, flasks and even a coffee table
barakallahu fihunna. At one stage the
living room was practically empty and the kitchen was standing room only with a
whole group standing around chatting – I should have known that would be the
most popular area with it being near the food and drinks!
Over 30
women and young girls turned up covering 11 different nationalities, and,
although I had little time or opportunity to sit down and chat with anyone, I
was able to catch up with some. It was
wonderful for me to see groups of women and girls sitting around chatting and
laughing, and I felt truly grateful to Allah for the wonderful community of
sisters here in Algeria, and for the opportunity to facilitate this
get-together. One of them had brought a
talk by Muhammad Mukhtar Ash-Shinqitee entitled The Goodly Life and you
can find it here. The Islamic talk has
brought many benefits to the meetings – the first and foremost is the blessings
as promised in the following hadith:
Abu
Hurairah and Abu Sa`id Al-Khudri (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: The
Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu ’alayhi wa sallam) said, “When a group
of people assemble for the remembrance of Allah, the angels surround them (with
their wings), (Allah’s) mercy envelops them, Sakinah, or tranquillity descends
upon them and Allah makes a mention of them before those who are near Him.”
[Muslim].
[Muslim].
They have
been good reminders to us all, Islamic tips on how to cope with life here as a
foreigner in Algeria, and usually they bring everyone at the meeting together
in a unified group for a brief discussion which adds a feeling of community to
the meeting.
Among the
guests, three of them had been to the original meeting in my home 10 years ago,
and one of them, who had been a young girl then and was now a married woman
with her own child, gave a wonderful feeling of continuity. It does help a lot that only children under
the age of two and girls over the age of 10 are allowed, and we had 3 toddlers
and a baby who were as good as gold Allahibarek.
We had
asked the sisters to please park their cars on the road perpendicular to our
road in order not to inconvenience our neighbours so when my husband returned
from work and saw no cars parked outside our house he assumed everyone had gone
home, until my youngest told him ‘go and have a look at the hall at the bottom
of the stairs’ – wall to wall footwear!
And that was after two thirds of the guests had gone! The neighbours
never blinked an eye at the comings and goings on that day, proof that after 10
years they have become accustomed to our odd gatherings (‘odd’ referring to
both the gatherings and the guests).
And that
temporary insanity I mentioned at the beginning of this post? I think it may be more permanent than I
thought because I’d be happy to host another meeting again……soon…….especially
during the summer months when the days are longer.
And the day
after the meeting we had one of the side benefits of hosting a monthly meeting,
a Queen Antoinette Day – anyone hungry?
Let them eat cake!
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